You are loved.

Yesterday as I was taking the journey back to lovely St. George after a nice long christmas break, I really had to go to the bathroom but I was so hesitant because I hate stopping. But I decided I better. So I quickly ran in and probably looked pretty rushed. As I was walking out an older man was walking in and was holding the door open and I quickly said thanks and he said, "if you don't mind me saying this I just want you to know you're shockingly beautiful."

Instantly I thought, K. He was only trying to be nice. Didn't he see this huge zit on my lip? If not he at least had to of seen the one on my forehead. My hair looks so gross. Obviously he doesn't really think that.

And then I had a long drive to think and like normal my mind didn't stop thinking. (Literally never and it can get pretty annoying.) but the whole rest of the drive I kept knocking myself down. Ew why are my legs so fat when I sit down? Oh man these rolls on my stomach are getting out of control. I should probably cut my hair it's completely dead. I wonder why I'm breaking out so bad. Ah I'm getting so white I need summer to come. 

and that's when I realized. 

You are your worst critic. And it's true that what you put out, is what you recieve. If I'm constantly knocking myself down and putting out these negative things about me than that is all other people are going to notice. For one of my resolutions this year I decided I'm going to love my physical appearance more. As dumb as that sounds it's probably the most important love a person can contain. And once you establish the love you have for yourself, other people will pick up on that and love you even more.

Everyone has their flaws, and I promise no one on this earth is perfect. It's hard because in this generation everyone is so jealous of other people's life because on social media they make it seem so perfect. But no one realizes the struggles and hardships people go through every single day. 

As I was I was scrolling through pinterest last night I scrolled past a quote that says, "Exist to be happy, not to impress." That hit home so hard. That should be so easy and not something you should have to be reminded of, but unfortuantely, is. Right now most people around my age are making big life decsions. Some are going on missions. Some are getting married. Some are going to school. Some are having kids. And some are just trying to make it through the day. Not one of those things are right or wrong. You never have to jusitfy the things you are doing, because in the end it is your life and your happiness.

I just wish everyone could see the beauty and potential you conatin. happy sabbath.

 

the last year and a half in a post.

Welcome to my blog. I'm not sure what made me decide this was a good idea.. but here I am. I've always been into documenting my life and in high school I kept a really good journal and wrote in it almost everyday. But somewhere between college, work, and being too involved with technology, I decided blogging might be a better and more efficient route for me. I used to always make fun of people for having blogs (sorry guys if you were one of them) but I just never thought people would be interested in my life but then I decided this is more for me than anything. So.. Here we go.
I don't know where to begin because the last time I documented anything about my life was so long ago that it would take me way too long to try to catch up, so I'll just start from here. (With a little bit of my past here and there.)
So for the last year and a half I have been attending Dixie and it has been the best time of my life. And although the weather and cost of tuition is a huge reason as to why I love it down there, that is also the least important. As cliche and dumb as it sounds Dixie really did change my life and all for the better. I finally found myself and someone who I was proud of, and who would of thought all that would happen in small town St. George? I moved in with 5 amazing girls who I kind of knew because of mutual friends and instagram. At first I was so skeptical of moving down there, and the only thing that made it happen is because my ex boyfriend lived down there, and because it was the only school I applied to and let alone the only school I could even get into (I barely graduated high school due to my love of sleeping in) But one way or another I found my self in St. George, and every day I find myself loving it more and more.
I've been mormon my whole life but like a lot of others I became completely inactive in high school and hated myself for it, but never admitted it to anyone and can barely admit it to myself. Don't get me wrong I absolutely loved high school and all the memories I made but I was never genuinely happy and I was ruining the relaionship I had with my family, and I knew it was time for change. All my roommates all seemed so happy and had this glow that I was so infatuated by and was constantly wondering what I was doing wrong and why their happiness was so much more intense and real. I finally figured it out, and it was the love they had of the chruch and christ. I found myself going to church with them and soaking up every minute of being there. After months of going to church and talking to the bishop, I found myself the happiest I have ever been. I quickly read the Book of Mormon and the testimony I once had quickly came back it was so much more intense and deep.
Quickly after that I met an amazing boy named Brett (which is a post in itself and I'll go in to detail about that later) haha. Ever since last January things have been so much better than I have ever planned or even imagined for myself. I have the most amazing family and single most greatest parents. Amazing roommates that have turned into my absolute best friends. 
And that about sums it up, until next time.